It might be a little silly to image what the Muppets would be like if they went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but are talking puppets really so far removed from hippogriffs and house elves? Some of the Muppets would fall in and be quite at home at the magical school, particularly the ones who already share some of the traits that our favorite Harry Potter characters have.
Predicting which Muppet would be sorted into which Hogwarts House is fun on its own, but just imagine the casting video of a scene like that. Of all the Potter crossover fanart and videos, that’s one that needs to be made.
Kermit: Ravenclaw
Kermit has all of the Hogwarts House traits in his little frog body, but the one that is most prominent is Ravenclaw, which is where the Sorting Hat would put him. Not only is Kermit the Muppet who’s always in charge of setting up the show, he’s also the leader who has to constantly plan everything from rehearsals to funding.
Some Ravenclaws are known for being impatient with those who don’t understand them, and Kermit definitely has his temper when it comes to that sort of situation. Still, he is an incredibly upbeat organizer with a keen sense of what needs to happen when.
Fozzie Bear: Hufflepuff
Fozzie might as well be a spokesbear for Hufflepuff. He’s as loyal as they come, and the best friend that Kermit could ever have. While Kermit enjoys the limelight, Fozzie has no problem playing sidekick rather than being the star of the show. Fozzie isn’t the brightest bulb, but he’s the sweetest, and he’ll be there for you no matter what, even if all he can do is offer a goofy joke or an ear to listen.
A bear who is all about the people he loves in his life, Fozzie will drop everything to help out a friend in need, which is the mark of a true Hufflepuff.
Gonzo: Gryffindor
Is there really any doubt over Gonzo’s Gryffindor status? He’s as brave as they come, always doing wild stunts and tricks with zero regard for his own personal safety. Gonzo takes more risks than most Muppets, and he sometimes ends up being more of a danger to himself and his friends rather than an asset to the team.
He is still a steadfast friend who will help out, but he’d much rather be adventuring than standing still, for sure. His recklessness almost reaches the same level as his love for chickens, which, decades later, fans are still trying to puzzle out.
Statler And Waldorf: Slytherin
The heckling duo Statler and Waldorf look more like Hogwarts ghosts than students, but they would definitely be sorted into the Slytherin House if they ever were to attend the school. Not only do they engage in bullyish behavior, but they also reek of rich privilege, often judging everyone around them while they would never dare to risk looking like a fool for friendship or love.
The two friends have their shared feelings of superiority over everyone else in common and that’s pretty much all they talk about every time we run into them, save for instances like time they ironically were ghosts dealing advice out to Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Animal: Gryffindor
Animal, drummer of the Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem band and the most wild of all the Muppets, is definitely a Gryffindor. Not only is he as moody and broody as Gryffindors like Ron Weasley and Harry Potter, he is even more reckless. If he flew a Ford Anglia over Surrey he would not only be seen, but he’d probably crash it into a muggle double-decker bus.
Animal never looks before he leaps, preferring action and adventure to caution, and he would definitely be up for serving on the Gryffindor Qudditch team. He certainly wouldn’t need Hermione to issue a Confundus Charm on anyone, either, as he’d probably scare everybody else off the field.
Swedish Chef: Hufflepuff
Known for his passion for cooking, Swedish Chef is all about staying true to his chef life. Had he been a Ravenclaw, he might have been more successful at, say, following a recipe, but his genuine love of cooking is refreshing.
We can’t always understand what he’s saying, but we always get what he means because he’s got that trademark Hufflepuff earnestness that you can feel even without words being said. And when words are used, nobody says, “Bork bork bork” with the passion and intensity as Swedish Chef. Given that he is a parody of actual TV chefs, who are also usually pretty passionate, his feelings about food totally make sense.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Ravenclaw
If there’s a clear Ravenclaw among the Muppets, it’s definitely Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, the resident scientist who loves to experiment on his buddy, Beaker. With Bunsen, everything is always in the name of science, and we could definitely see him peering over beakers and Bunsen burners with Professor Flitwick, their heads bent in their passion and complete absorption in their work.
Honeydew is often clueless as to how his experiments will affect Beaker, which is testament to the tendency of many Ravenclaws to have exceptional skills in the lab while being unable to deal with people on a personal level.
Beaker: Hufflepuff
One of the best sports among the Muppets is poor Beaker, assistant to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and constant reluctant “volunteer” for his experiments. Beaker is often quivering with trepidation before embarking on Honeydew’s latest idea, but he remains with his partner out of loyalty. He’s perhaps too good of a friend, opting to just go along with Honeydew’s plans rather than assert his own personal space and set up some boundaries.
Many say that Beaker would appear to be a Ravenclaw as well, as he had to be interested in science for his line of work, but he’s just too fearful of most of the experiments to care about it nearly as much as Honeydew.
Rowlf The Dog: Hufflepuff
Perhaps the most laid back of all the Muppets, Rowlf just wants to make good music with good friends. He’s also quite in tune with his friends, able to listen to their problems and play them a piece that fits what they are currently going through–whether they ask for the song or not!
As easygoing as Rowlf is, he’s also very dedicated to his music and has the trademark traits of a reliable, diligent Hufflepuff. He’s a good friend who doesn’t ever let ambition or pride get in the way, and he’s not one to jump in and take risks just for the fun of it.
Miss Piggy: Slytherin
Miss Piggy was a #girlboss long before it was a trend and she’s not afraid to tell anyone. She knows what she wants and doesn’t tiptoe around anything or anyone, making her a childhood icon for many female-identifying kids who were taught to do the opposite. As a Slytherin, Piggy isn’t evil, but she sure is ruthless in achieving her dreams.
The most ambitious of the bunch, Miss Piggy wants to be a big star, and she wants Kermit’s heart. Sometimes she doesn’t take no for an answer, which is her most unfortunate characteristic, and while she’s not always the brightest person in the room, she’s definitely the most cunning.
