Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy is basically the king of dad goals. Whether he’s practicing his magic or showing Luke how to use a trampoline like a pro, he is always here for a good time. But while he has a love for all things fun, he also knows how and when to be serious if it means protecting his kids.
Over the years, he’s also dished out some of the best advice, whether he says it straight or shows it through his actions. The show itself is full of great parenting rules and advice. But Phil’s are some of the best. Here are some of those life lessons and teaching moments.
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE FUN
One of Phil’s most recent life lessons comes when he surprises Alex at university in season 10, only to realize she won a prestigious award and has been hiding it from him. Not only that, but she tries to get rid of him because he might embarrass her in front of the academics.
Later on, Alex feels bad and shows up to a bar where Phil is eating wings, and she tells him she’s realized that she has spent her entire time at college studying and not actually enjoying it. Phil decides there is still time to enjoy it and introduces her to a game of trivia with funny hats and accents. Because this type of game has Phil Dunphy written all over it. At that moment, Alex understands that she still has time to have fun and it’s okay to let loose every once in a while.
EVERYTHING IN THE BOOK OF PHIL’S-OSOPHY
When Haley goes off to college in season four, episode two, “Schooled,” Phil presents her with the book of Phil’s-osophy. It’s a hardcover book he has created that contains the lessons he’s learned in his life.
But they obviously come with his own twist. Standout advice includes, “If you love something, set it free. Unless it’s a tiger” and “If life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, ‘Whaaaat?’”
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T FOUND YOURSELF YET DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE A FAILURE
Phil, Haley, and Luke end up signing up for a social experiment in season six, episode two, “Do Not Push.” They are debating whether they should push a button that says “Do not push,” and Haley doesn’t want to. It turns out that she is frustrated and exclaims that she feels like a giant failure. Phil tells her that she has talent and value, just like anyone else, and he says, “Who cares if you don’t fit into their little box? You’re finding your way.”
He also tells her that your 20s are for making mistakes and learning from them, making Haley feel a whole lot better about dropping out of college and living in her parents’ basement.
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS
In season three, episode three, “Phil on Wire,” Claire is trying to teach Alex and Haley a lesson about getting along and doing better as people. At the same time, Phil is attempting to master a tight rope walk across the yard. When Claire gets home with the girls, Phil successfully completes his walk.
At that moment, Claire realizes that Phil is the one teaching everyone a lesson about challenging yourself and not giving up through walking the walk instead of talking the talk.
YOUR DADDY WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR DADDY, NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE
The family is heading to Manny’s birthday party in season two, episode eight, “Manny Get Your Gun.” Haley and Alex are in the car with Phil and they inform him they don’t want to go to family camp this year. Phil is upset because he realizes his children are growing up before his eyes, and begins crying. This makes the girls upset, and they start crying, saying they were sad they made their daddy cry.
Phil exclaims, “You called me daddy!” The girls reply, “Because you are our daddy!” To this, Phil shouts, “I’ll always be your daddy!” This makes everyone cry harder, and it’s an adorable moment.
IF YOU’RE SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING, PRACTICE IT
During season three, Alex doesn’t want to go to the prom because is self-conscious that she can’t dance. Phil steps in. By this point, we’ve already seen his High School Musical dance routine.
But now, he brings his A-game to help Alex learn some moves that will make her feel more confident. He even shows her where to place her hands so it doesn’t look like she is saying, “I’m white and I’m sorry.”
HEARTBREAK HURTS, BUT IT’S JUST A PART OF LIFE
In season two, episode nine, “Mother Tucker” Haley experiences heartbreak for the first time when she and Dylan call it quits. Seeing how upset she is, Phil comforts her and they reminisce on the relationship. Haley admits she used to sneak out to see him, and Phil says he knows because of Dylan’s loud car… and his honking.
When he sees the pain she’s in, he tells her, “I know it hurts now, sweetheart, but that’s how you know it was a relationship worth having.”
IT’S OKAY TO BE YOURSELF
Claire and Phil find a bra in Luke’s room in season six, episode 18, “Spring Break.” They think he’s been sneaking girls up to his room. When Phil confronts Luke about the bra, Luke tells him the bra is actually his.
Before he can explain, Phil says, “That’s not the conversation I thought we’d be having, but if that’s what you need on the outside to feel like the Luke you are on the inside…” It turns out that the bra is so Luke can practice unhooking it, but it’s nice that Phil acknowledges he will accept Luke no matter what.
YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS WANT THE BEST FOR YOU
During season four, episode 12, “Party Crasher,” Haley brings home a grimy older guy, Kenny (played by Jason Mantzoukas, who plays grimy guys to perfection). She doesn’t really like the guy, but she wants to get a rise out of her parents. Claire, having done this in her youth, tells Phil not to freak out about it because that will inspire Haley to continue dating Kenny.
Phil tries his best, but when Haley leaves to go stay in a hotel with him, he can’t handle himself and goes running after them. Without realizing that Haley is standing behind him, he yells, “That’s my little girl. I need her to know that no guy on earth is good enough for her!” Well, he got that message across perfectly.
IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE REALISTIC
One of Phil’s key life lessons, that he says a couple of times over the show, is about the importance of not getting your hopes up and lowering your expectations. He provides an example of this on his birthday in season one, episode 19, “Game Changer.”
All Phil wants is to go buy the newly launched iPad, but when no one pulls through for him, he gives up. In the end, he’s pleasantly surprised by the way his family worked to get him his gift and his disappointment is gone. In the confessional, he says, “The key to a good birthday? Low expectations.”
